so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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