Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
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