when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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