So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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