Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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