I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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