we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Damn victory sex feels great
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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