So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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