your thong is hanging out like whoa
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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