There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
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She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
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I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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