If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
