theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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