come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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