I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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