And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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