I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
