Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
