I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
