scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
