Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
