yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
