Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
