Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
