All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
