btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
