last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
