Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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