let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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