Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
