let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
