What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
