We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She bit a glass in half.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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