its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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