Pappa wants mamma naked
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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