i don't like sucking hair
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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