Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
