i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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