tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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