This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Blood and glitter go together right?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
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