i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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