The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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