why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
