is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I don't think brook has ever known best
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
