Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
