Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Im part way to drunk.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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