The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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