I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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