And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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