she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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