Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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