respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
