Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
