just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
