I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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