Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
