...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
