i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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