Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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