i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
