I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
